5 Real Photos Of Real Places That'll Make You Shout Fake

Much of the earth's wondrous majesty just looks like total bullshit. Here are very real sights that you might have dismissed as terrible fakes, had you seen them from a less trustworthy source.

No 1. There Is No Escaping The Hell-mouth

Who is this woman, who can stand and smile upon the droves of blackened husks of those who've tried to escape the insatiable, ever-burning mouth of Hell itself (or possibly Hell's angry red anus)?

Well, much to the disappointment of your fundamentalist Christian aunt whom you keep meaning to unfriend on Facebook, this isn't an actual photo of Hell's yawning gate (or unlatched back door), but of what geologists call a "skylight." That's a lava formation resulting from the collapse of lava tubes, which you may recognize as a terrifying event that apparently happens often enough to have earned a shorthand nickname. This particular skylight occurred on the western side of Hawaii Island's Kamokuna lava delta:

Of course, this explanation doesn't make the woman in the photograph any less hardcore -- she's just standing at the gate of science Hell, rather than Bible Hell.

No 2. Hodge Close Quarry Will Murder You Sideways

At first glance, this picture might not really look like anything -- just a pile of rocks, a grotto, and a lake. Other than looking like a go-to body disposal site for serial murders hearing voices that are actually there, what's the big deal, right?

And we agree with you. That is, until you tilt your head slightly to the left (we'll rotate the picture for you, so you don't alarm your classmates/coworkers/fellow private citizens on the bus):

Clearly, clearly, that is the face of a titanic undead ogre who has risen from the dimension of howling bones to devour us all.

In reality, what appears to be the image of death incarnate is Hodge Close Quarry, a massive slate excavation in England's Lake District. Because having the appearance of the last thing all humans see when they depart this world isn't enough of a deterrent, the quarry has become a favorite destination of climbers and divers alike, and its icy, 150-foot-deep waters have lived up to the quarry's lethal appearance on at least three occasions ... a tidbit which here means "there are almost assuredly sunken corpses littering the silt beneath the unblinking eyes of this grave lord."

No 3. Sad Colossus Does Not Approve Of Your Spending Habbits

What we see here is an obviously depressed Colossus mourning the evils of capitalism by sticking his gigantic head through the middle of a Sharper Image distribution center.

You may be surprised to learn that this building is actually part of France's Polygone Riviera, an indoor/outdoor shopping district, inspired by such American shopping destinations as Hollywood's famous Sunset Strip. Where it differs from many (daresay all) other such locations is the mopey chrome bastard who stares down at you as you lug your purchases back to the car.

Standing watch at the entrance to the mall, sculptor Sacha Sosno's "Le Guetteur" ("The Watchman") is a four-story monstrosity comprised of two lower floors of restaurants, a disembodied metal sad face, and two upper floors doubling as the mall's management offices and the most kickass hat ever constructed, leaving us all asking "With a hat so righteous, how could he be so bummed?"

No 4. The Predater Building

At some point in our lives, we've all wished we could make our home vanish at the flip of a switch, whether to terrify unwanted visitors out of ever returning or to play a charming prank on city engineers. Delaware State University's Optical Science Center for Applied Research -- nicknamed OSCAR -- appears to have discovered the ability to do just that. 

Sadly, despite the seriously bitchin' photograph, science has not yet perfected (or, to our knowledge, even begun exploring) whole-home cloaking technology. OSCAR is just a big reflective building, but unique prismatic design allows it to use radiant heating and cooling systems to minimize airflow in sensitive laboratories while maximizing efficiency. They almost make it sound like the near invisibility was an accident.

Otherwise, it's the perfect structure to house the university's optical research program, because in addition to being a cute optical illusion, the building also presumably sears the retinas of unsuspecting passersby with each and every sunset.

No 5. San Francisco Bay IS Bleeding

If a sea monster suddenly appeared in San Francisco Bay and mulched several dozen victims into a maritime soup of blood and fear, we imagine this is what it would look like during your landing approach to San Francisco International Airport.

What appear to be the collection pools for a humanity-wide ritual sacrifice are in actuality Cargill's San Francisco Bay salt works, one of only two such facilities in the United States.

Transmogrifying the bay water into salt for your seared cod is a painstaking process: Over a five-year period, water is advanced through a series of increasingly shallow pools. As the water evaporates, the increasing salinity affects the flora and fauna that are able to thrive in it. Greener species of algae give way to ones rich in beta-Carotene, while brine shrimp add their own reddish pigments to the mix.

Then, finally, once all the water is gone, you're left with pure salt. Well, "pure" except for all the aforementioned (and now deceased) algae and sea monkeys, but we're sure someone vacuums all of them up or something before it ends up in your shaker.